Learning from our inner darkness
So I’ve found myself musing. ( And be warned, this is controversial )
My big question of the day is; what are we inside?
I know, very mystical and without clarity..
Seriously though, I’ve been reading about mercy and kindness, and anger and hate; about the lies we carry and the limits we put on ourselves and I can’t work out which is the true us.
In many places you’ll find strong words of how humankind is inherantly bad or good but I’m starting to think that ignoring one for the other leaves us with a big gap in our understanding of ourselves and others.
Now I’m not saying we should go out and embrace our inner Joker in some evil megalomaniac way. On the contrary, if being good is something we have to work at doesn’t that make it an even more valuable thing?
What I’m saying is that dark impulse inside which says, “You should say this nasty thing,” or “That’s yours, you can have it and who cares who gets hurt,” or “So what. I don’t care about them. I don’t know them“, is also part of us. We can’t ignore that we have these feelings because then we just end up bottling them up into resentment later or, worse, having them seep out into our lives without our noticing.
Are we a balance of two forces? Like how hope and fear can battle inside us – one warning of danger, the other giving us the strength to face it for a good reason.
If so then we can’t just ignore one side of ourselves. Those dark thoughts are like waymarkers to what we don’t want to do and can be a warning so that we don’t sleepwalk into being those things. So long as we remember to choose to care.
It’s easy to forget our loved ones while we’re busy working, or ignore common kindness because we’re hurt or annoyed. So maybe we can use our own feelings to see how our actions can cause them in others. Perhaps, by understanding the fears and desires that we choose to be greater than, we can see when we fail to care and find the hope to care again.