Being at war.. with ourselves

The barriers of our everyday

The world is changing. It’s scary and uncomfortable and I can see so many good things, and bad, being born and dying; Hatreds being faced and destroyed (or fanned up and new born); Fears being cut down (or grown).

Yet, nothing truly seems to change. Not here, at the heart.
We still fight ourselves. We still fight to make everyone see us and to tell them we’re right ( I wonder, is this because we fear we’re wrong or we want to escape the things that hurt inside? ). We still get angry because our world is changing. We still hurt and try to hide our scars and pain because… I don’t know why, today.

I don’t know who’s right or wrong this time. In truth I think we all are a little. Every person seems to get pushed down by another and yet it’s so easy, in trying to fix that, to see it born in a new way. So many people get caught on one side or other and find themselves drifting away until they can’t hear any other thoughts.
I know we shouldn’t hate each other. I know that no being can be summed up by anything so small as appearances. Yet, from what I see, each person does so, for good and bad, and it takes effort to learn to see through first thoughts into what’s below.

Most of all, I know there are many things that we needed to see so we could fix them. I just hope we fix the causes of them first because so many hurt who aren’t seen in the fighting and no-one deserves to hurt so deep inside.

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Today I sat and thought, and it felt like I was looking at a mass of people forever fighting and dying. And I felt so sad, so deep inside.

I remember a saying that said something about how you can either get bigger by raising people up ( and yourself with them ) or by pushing others down. So when do we get to see people being raised up?

Perhaps it’s something that starts inside? Perhaps I don’t want to be right – just seeing a smile and the sun and hearing birdsong is enough for today.
A day that I know I’m enough. One where I’m not afraid to be frail and wounded.

A day when I don’t feel low and where some small thing I do makes anothers’ life better.

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The world is changing… I cannot change that, nor would I. I can only care about the world, one moment at a time. I can only hope to bring a little light to the part of the world I touch today.